New Eyes

That's not me editing photos... that's the colors of sunset!

Being in Guatemala with my parents the past week has given me a fresh set of eyes in which to see the world.  We have spent a lot of time in Antigua seeing museums, restaurants, a super sweet coffee tour, and climbing Pacaya.  We also went to the Lake where we went on the zipline (even my mom!  with some help...), explored San Juan and San Pedro and spent the night on the patio of our hotel drinking wine, watching the boats on the water, admiring the lightening behind the clouds, and talking about aliens, weather patterns, and everything in between.

I am continually amazed (and, yes, slightly embarrassed) by their excitement and attempts at undercover picture taking whenever they saw someone carrying a basket on their head, the comments of colorful clothing, or their adverse reactions of fear to some of our shuttle bus drivers' car-handling maneuvers.  These things that have become so normal and natural to me are incredibly new and different (and at times terrifying) to them... and their shock, fear, and excitement is what fuels them into wanting to try new things and get out of bed at the inhumanely wee hours of the morning.

 Watching their reaction keeps reminding me what it is like to be in new situations.  They are excited by the classic cross and arch in Antigua - it's new to them and they now can say that they conocer (really know) that location (well, they could if they spoke Spanish, but we're working on that). They can be shocked by the clouds, the mountains, the volcanoes letting off a bit of steam...  It's a healthy joy, a fascination with the new... the childlike viewpoint that we all secretly desire whenever we are with an easily excited child.

As I see them and their excitement, and get a glimpse through their eyes, I realize that I'm going to be having a very similar experience Saturday night when I step off the plane in Houston, and for many more days after that.  Like them, the States will be all new for me.  Exciting and new.

Yes, I did grow up there and have seen them, but when I last saw the States, I was a 25 year-old driving around with a friend, a tent, and a mountain bike on the lookout for the next adventure and begging God to take notice of me and give me guidance.  I was a girl who was confused about life, God, and hitting an identity crisis.  I had an appendix.  I didn't speak a word of Spanish and had no close friends who came from socioeconomic backgrounds other than my own.  I didn't realize the global effects of our actions.  I did not come nearly close enough to understanding and valuing community.  There was so much I didn't know, and even more I didn't know that I didn't know.

Now, I'm returning to the States as a 26 year-old who will be starting her first "big girl job" (Wednesday afternoon, I looked at my dad and said, "In a week, I will be finishing my first ever lunch break").  I will be on the lookout for a healthy friendship community around which to surround myself.  I will speak Spanish and try to actively seek out others who do as well as friends from classes and backgrounds different from mine.  I will hopefully not lose anymore internal organs.  I will still not know exactly who I am, but I will at least stop working in vain to find out and/or run away and instead be still and know that I can listen.  I will understand my worth through being versus doing and value relationships over checklists.  I will be aware of my actions and their effects on the world.  And most importantly, there will be so much that I don't know and I know that I don't know even more.

Or, at least, these are my prayers.  These are some of the lessons I have had the honor of learning this year and that I would like to continue learning over the years to come.  I want to go back to the US with these new eyes and be able to see the same things I saw before I left, but with a new excitement and viewpoint that leaves me wondering and enjoying for a long time to come.

Even if these new eyes give me so much excitement that I begin taking pictures of animals on the highway through the dirty windshield as we drive down the road...