I used to think that I was a good fire maker – I made bonfires on the beach, pretty fires in my fireplace, and have played with some gasoline and candles. But, here, I’ve learned a few other tricks.
- In order to save matches, use a steak knife over a small piece of wood and smack it with a large piece of wood. By doing this, you will successfully make a lot of smaller pieces to hold your flame AND you can make the gringa in the room really confused and scared for your 77 year-old life.
- The best candle holder is the plastic top to the sugar jar… even when it melts and is all deformed.
- Skyping in the kitchen with woodburning stoves is the best thing ever in the winter/summer (read former blog to decide what word you want to put in there)
- Fires, well contained, make excellent food!
- Fires make for excellent weed control... so great that you should light all the grass in your entire neighborhood on fire! (sparklers from a bonfire on open grass with the hopes of setting the whole field on fire...)
- Leaving children unattended with fire is a-okay
- Fireworks are the best way to celebrate any holiday... with a bang!
- Number 6 includes when three gringas realize how cheap they are and light them (they're really good!) in the middle of the street for Easter.
- Fireworks (at least here) are made by child labor and occasionally the firework factories explode. This causes me a great deal of sadness and debate as to if I should have participated in number 7.
- Beware of having your clothing dry downwind of where you are burning trash. It will inevitably smell of fire... with an added delightful scent.
- If you work at a hotel and are delivering a pitcher of water to a room and you see two girls trying to light the fire, stop and help. But first, make sure you move your rifle to the front of you so it is as close to the fire as possible as you lean over it.
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