Marcia (our supervisor) said the wisest quote I've ever heard at our last retreat...
"I've come to realize that nothing in life is perfect"
Yes. On this side of earth, nothing is perfect - we're just called to follow the path carved by our maker and do our best to do get as close to perfect as we are supposed to be, and this looks different for everyone.
This year in Guatemala has been a lesson in this quotation. I have always been someone who has thought, "if I could just have done this, it would have been perfect." In the sport of swimming, it is super duper easy to go down this path of thinking: "if I just would have not cut my nails, I would have touched that girl out... or if I would have just not taken that breath, I would have had the perfect race" I fell in that trap of thinking a lot in ministry as well (and, while we're at true confessions... in all of life (did I mention I went to 19 consecutive years of school and for all 19 years was somehow preoccupied/obsessed about my grades?)).
However in Guatemala, through a lot of days, weeks, and months of speaking with imperfection, I've come to use that as an analogy for life's lesson that you can't have perfection. "If I would have just conjugated that irregular verb correctly, it wouldn't have taken the tienda clerk and I 5 minutes to explain what type of juice I wanted to buy" or "If I would have just written that accent over como when teaching that question in class, then they'd understand me perfectly." No. They probably wouldn't understand me perfectly. I can get them to understand me more than they did the first time... maybe... but there's cultural differences that will always make communication imperfect. I can't strive for perfection, I can just strive for casi perfecto.
Yesterday and today, I'm realizing that these lessons in perfection can also be seen in light of the distance I live from loved ones. As graduations are approaching, I want so badly to be there and congratulate my friends - you did it! but I'm not there. As summer is coming and I want to participate in Vacation Bible School and retreats and take my parents' boat for a spin filled with all my friends who seemed to move to the Seattle area while I've been gone, I'm not there. As I look into where I'm going next, I realize that I can't be in Guatemala, Walla Walla, Minneapolis, and the westside of Washington at the same time, and none of them are perfect options anyways. Finally, as I hear that Robin, CPPC's senior pastor, has lost his amazingly heartfelt battle with cancer and returned to the Ultimate Shepherd, I hurt because I'm not there to be a part of the community supporting one another and being supported through the loss. I'm not in any of those places. Life's not perfect. It sometimes really hurts.
But then I realize that I am fulfilling the mission I have been given. Although nothing in life is perfect, I know that I am where I need to be right now - the distance I live at is not perfect, by any means, but it's perfectly close to a lot of things. It is perfectly close to kids who need love and the lesson that sometimes giving love to kids in need results in them returning the favor with fleas.
It is perfectly close to a country that is in the midst international news breaking turmoil (it's all happening north of me!) and allows for conversations that are incredibly enlightening for me.
It is perfectly close to a bunch of life lessons that are being learned (including this one) and perfectly provides for a year of self life lessons and discovery.
It is perfectly close to helping me develop a new life outlook and perspective about myself, life, God, and how they all fit together.
Distance has joys and it has pains... it's definitely not perfect, but life isn't either.
To the Petersons and CPPC family and the Walla Walla and Touchet communities - I'm praying for you! May we all look to the great Shepherd and counselor for counsel and guidance.
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