We made it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello from Antigua!
It's a bit cloudy, a bit sprinkly, and totally perfect.

We got in this morning after a fun set of plane rides (made especially more fun by the 2:30am departure) and arrived in Guatemala City. On the ride, I got to listen (and attempt to respond) to a wonderful mayan woman.  I believe she was talking about her husband and children, but she could have been talking about bean sprouts for all I really know.  I asked her how to make Tortillas and she smooshed her hands together over and over.  It was awesome.  She was definitely my first instance of culture shock.  I accidentally forgot that people don't speak English, and she was illiterate which led to some awkward conversations regarding customs paperwork.  All worked out well and we're now good friends :)

 Our car ride to Antigua was phenomenal.  Laura called me a puppy dog because I was so excited and looking every which way and sticking my head almost out the window.  Everything is new.  It's in Spanish.  It's authentic.  It's awesome.  We're having orientation for a few days, staying in a hotel/restaurant that is in Antigua proper and checking out the sights.  There is even an orange tree!

Hope all is well stateside!  Miss you all!
Katharine

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be"

At some point in the time Nora and I spent living together, this quote from Lau Tau appeared on my bed written (scribbled?) on a napkin. I've kept it in pretty good sight ever since its mysterious appearance, not because I fully agreed with the quote or understood it, but because I wanted to work with Lau Tau's thought, push against it, find where I did agree with it. In essence, I wanted to make my interpretation of it my own. 

As I've been at training here in New York, we've talked about a host of things: race and power dynamics, self care, insurance, discernment (aka finding out what God wants for us), calling, gifting.  On top of all this, we've been meeting new friends and laying the foundation for deep, intimate friendships unlike many of  us have ever had.  Throughout our conversations, games, and meetings, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my identity of who I have been, who I see myself still being.  I am an employee of College Place Presbyterian Church where our church is going through major changes and the senior pastor, a man I really respect, is going through an incredibly miraculous but dangerous surgery.  I am a volunteer and youth directorperson at Touchet School where all the kids are getting ready for fair.  I work with the youth in Walla Walla where they have begun school and some of the kids I've been babysitting since birth are in kindergarten.  I am a swim coach and my high school girls are in their first week of practice.  I am a student and I haven't had to buy school supplies. I am a perfectionist and I want to do everything systematically and well.  I am a volunteer (very short term) at Harbor  Covenant Church and miss all the relationships that I began forming with the kids there.  I am an athlete without a pool or a weight room.  I am all these things, but they don't work here.  In this new context, they don't make sense.

Yet, I still am who I am.  That's where I struggle with this quote, and that's a lot of what we've talked about in our meetings.  Despite my attempts to define myself and state "who I am" by "what I am", the things listed above, those are not who I am. I am a daughter, a friend, a child of God.  I am white, in the eyes of the majority of the world, I grew up wealthy (and still am).  I am Christian, meaning simply no more than I want to follow Jesus and emulate him in my life as much as possible.  I have gifts and I have struggles many that are unique to me and many that are shared with all of humankind.  These things just begin to describe "who I am" but they definitely do a better job describing "who I am" than my former description of "what I am" did.

From the sound of our meetings, we won't fully know "what we are".  According to the current plan, I will be a teacher, I will be an adopted daughter of a family, I may be a translator (once I know the language), I may be a tour guide, I will be a member of a Guatemalan community. 

Thinking about this quote, I'm realizing that in order to become what I might be, I need to let go of what I am.  That doesn't mean pretending that the last 25 years of my life never occurred, but it does mean that I cannot beat myself up for this decision to follow God's will for the next year and leave all the things about what I am that I love.  Instead, it means recognizing that those experiences have built me into who I am and who I am is traveling with me.  Once I let go of what I am, I make room to become what I might be in Guatemala.  However, who I am will go with me along the journey (and being the relational person I am, who I am has been greatly influenced by all of you).

I get to embark on the exhausting yet exhilarating and exciting journey tomorrow of flying to Seattle, driving to Wenatchee, being a part of Andrea and Paul's wonderful wedding, driving back to Seattle, flying back to New York, all in a matter of two days so I can be here in time to fly to Guatemala.  I have been scared for this.  My departure Monday was less than presentable (let's just say that when you cry over a text  message that your dog is sick and in the cone of shame, you're emotionally exhausted).  I wanted so much to back out, to go back to what I was, to fix stuff, to be a part of my former life.  I think this weekend will be a good opportunity to reattempt flying out, and leaving stuff behind.

Once I let go of what I am, I will become what I might be... and I'm really stoked to see what that will look like.

SEATAC AIRPORT... here I come :)

Back from the San Juans!  (pictures of that and the rest of the month are here)

NOW... I'm heading out to New York... time for a week of orientation/training!
EXCEPT... in the middle of the week, I'll be flying back to Seattle and driving to Wenatchee to speak/perform/sermonize Andrea and Paul's wedding, and then back to New York for more orientation.
THEN... I'll be in Guatemala for lunch on Monday, August 30th.

Now onto a whirlwind week!  I'll send some glorious pictures of Antigua when I get there :)

Have a fabulous week!

180 Hours!!!

As of 7 tonight, when I had the calculator to assist me, there were 180 hours to go until I get on the plane and fly to NY for training.  I'm soooooooo excited!

I definitely haven't been wasting much time here.  The past week was spent with dear friends.  I met new friends at camp (Yay Oasis 2010!) and just had a blast getting to know some great high school students.  They're great (so are the leaders!).  Then, I got to join an amazing family (with 6 girls...) in Pacific City for a long weekend at the beach.  Then, I was privileged enough to join another WW family (and surprise the girls!) for a few days at Newport before driving home through Portland and hanging out with Emily and Nora there and back here in the harbor.

Over the past very busy two weeks, I have been so impressed by how in each of the situations, no matter how different they are (or how similar), I have been surrounded by people who are in awe of things bigger than themselves. At camp, kids were asking legit and awesome questions about life and God. They wanted to know Him, they wanted to understand this thing called life.  One night while we were at camp, there was a massive thunderstorm. Instead of hiding and whining, the high school students played.  We played volleyball, soccer, weird games they made up that involved running around in groups making odd Samurai motions.  It didn't matter what you were doing, if you looked silly, or if you didn't do anything... what mattered most was that they were impressed by the storm and wanted to take it all in. 


At the beach, the kids were playing in the waves and the ocean for hours, totally mesmerized by the power of water, the creatures in the sand, the tiny crabs, the sand dunes, the jelly fish, what could be lurking in the next tidepool...  They wanted to play in the sand, to play in the water, to play with things that are so big and so powerful yet so gentle.  The ocean is such a cool portrayal of power, grand, and gentle... sometimes I think I can learn a lot about God from the ocean.

Then there's the wind, and the power it bestows.  Flying kites, particularly the strong acrobatic kite that tried to pull me off my feet, exemplifies the power of the wind (and my steep learning curve for kite flying).  How it stays in the air, and how the piece of fabric, connected to a string, connected to our hand continues to hold our attention baffles me, but it does. Why?  Because it's greater than me, and I want to just stand in awe.

As I get older, jaded, bitter, (hopefully the last two to a lesser extent) or anything else that is associated with becoming older, I really hope I never forget to be awed by things I don't understand.  Considering how little in this world I do understand, and how many things there are that are bigger than me, if my hopes of living a life of awe are even partially achieved, I will spend my life full of not understanding and being impressed and mesmerized.  I think that's how I want to live.